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Sunday, 06 June 2010

  • pennies.

     

    going over the India packing list. I can not believe that in close to a week I will actually be in another country, it is insane.

     

    OH and things here were just starting to become easier. I speaking to people again that I havent spoken with in months. My core no longer thinks I am rebellious, in fact they commented that I am TEACHABLE now. hah.

     

    lastnight a bunch of us just went to dairy queen and then the park, we sat for hours. Playing and dreaming. Texas, yeah theres not much to do in Garden Valley but it has its spontaneous moments none the less. One thing I can say, is that the stars here..oh man I will miss them more than anything else.

     

    i think i am distancing myself a little from him. I havent been as open for some reason...i think maybe I dont want all of this now and I thought I was ready. Is it possible to be ready for something like this though?

    I felt a little hurt this morning for them not asking me to go hangout with them, but then I thought about the slump that hanging out with them got me in in the first place, and I sort of smiled. Scurry along little cass, and find the Lord. No, dont just find God, cassie fight for your love for him. Things are changing thats for sure...and maybe thats why I am distancing myself from him. He needs to keep up.

Saturday, 29 May 2010

  • candles candles candles.



    I am SO ready to be out of this place. but then someone tells me I will never learn to be content and I grow bitter at myself. Why can I not be happy here? Because it is completely ridiculous that I am at the Honor Academy, it is such a joke...

    everyday its like I am holding anger in that doesn't belong. Thats not healthy at all. ahg. im also being so dramatic. whatever.

    Austin, Texas today. I honestly can say that its only of the only places in Texas that I admire. Although I am staying with my friend bree at her bestfriend's house. It makes me think of Phoebe a lot, laughing and being dumb with her and I miss her a lot. ayaiyai girls arent really like her and I are and sometimes I just need her around so i can be myself for a little while.

    Im really currently aggrivated at someone who is being really completely selfish and I want to sock em. but I wont say who.

    more and more each day I think about doing the world race..traveling around with my backpack and not having a boyfriend but its hard when Ive already found someone i am so crazy over.

    "ive got no heart, because the SHE devil stole it."




    MY hair is too big for hats now.

  • candles candles candles.


Wednesday, 19 May 2010

Thursday, 13 May 2010

  • there was.

    a bug in my hair. but i did not freak out. most girls would, I think.

    A girl that I hardly know just came to me and asked if I could create some art for her to sell for an art show she is having within the next couple weeks for her mission trip. My first instinct is to act childish and shout "make your own art, mines not for selling!" But I am considering. why? Well, maybe I just want to see if anyone would buy it.

    Just last week I told ricky that I have not really done much art this year or shown what I've done. "why" says ricky. I quickly reply that it is because I do not want people to know that I do art. "But you WREAK of art, cassie"-ricky.
    So, I guess it has been unsuccessful. yes, i've done a few favors this semester. the word has gotten out I suppose.

    I should sell my own paintings, drawings, and comics for tuition for school. ayaiyai I want to learn graphic design really quite baddly. Then I should sketch things out and vamp them on the computer.

    BUT FIRST. i need a bike. I crave having a bike again and being able to wakeup early in the morn, ride until my little muscles are sore then pass out on the couch all sweaty.

    this place is suffocating right now. junior is the only relief. AND when I speak to my missionaries and I actually feel like I am accomplishing something here.